You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
