I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You've changed since you got that strap on
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
