porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
