Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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