i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
