Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
