Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize