Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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