Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize