return my video game
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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