I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
