i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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