i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
