But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
