It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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