Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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