Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
