Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Congratulations! We have a period
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
