Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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