so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
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Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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