You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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