I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
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I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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