I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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