Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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