you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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