If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize