Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She told me I should be a condom model.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize