"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
