so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
