i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
