just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
