everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Still dying that you shit outside
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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