Can Purell be used as lube?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
