I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
