Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
