turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
