i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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