To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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