Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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