We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Congratulations! We have a period
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
