he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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