Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
