It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize