Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
how drunk are you?
Several
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
