he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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