i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
