He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
