You really coming over, don't trick.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
