Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I cut my penus on the lid.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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