Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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