I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize