I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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