I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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