It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Green mimosas i think yes
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My ass is underappreciated
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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