Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
