Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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