We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
