just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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