ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
