Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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