stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
