is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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