So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
