so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
